A group of friends enjoy a spirited game of poker, and we get to watch! Isn't life grand?
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Monday, July 7, 2008
Travel Tips: Germany
Being forced to travel to Germany? Ja? Well, here are some handy German phrases that every tourist should know whilst traversing the great and noble land of the Deutsch. Good luck, and happy Germaning!
Hello. My name is _______.
Guten Tag. Mein name ist _______.
How are you?
Wie geht es Ihnen?
Your country smells like pee.
Deine Landgeruche wie Pipi.
Do you speak english?
DO... YOU... SPEAK... ENGLISH?
Which way to the library, Ass-Face?
Welche weise zur Bibliothek, Esel-Gesicht?
Oh Snap! No you di'ent!
Oh verschluss! Nein, tatest du ni-icht!
I love you...
Ich liebe dich...
...for 6 euros.
...für sechs Euro.
Thank you for not gassing me in the shower.
Danke schön für das Gasen ich nicht in der Dusche.
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Rejected Retro: Cover Letter
Going through some old files, I found this cover letter that I actually wrote to a restaurant many moons ago. I never even got an interview. Go figure...
May 25, 2001
Yours truly,
Kennedy Allen
May 25, 2001
To Whom it May Concern,
I am interested in applying for the job of kitchen help in your fine restaurant.
I have had some experience in the kitchen, for example my brief stint as a Chester Fried Chicken and Sub Shack aficionado. Also, I come from a long line of kitchen help. My Father helped in a kitchen, as did his father, and his father before him. His father did not help in a kitchen, but he did use dinner plates to practice skeet shooting. Moreover, as a boy I used to visit my great uncle Agustus who owned a scouring pad farm. He would teach me every day about the in’s and out’s of scouring, all the do’s and do not’s, how to treat your scouring pad just right. Yes, he went on and on about the scouring pad, not to mention the scrub brushes. Finally, my mother used to threaten me with a carrot peeler if I did not help out in the kitchen at home. She did not pay me however. I guess you would call that volunteer work.
Please feel free to contact me for an interview, or if you have any questions. My phone number is (CENSORED) , and my e-mail is (CENSORED) I look forward to chatting with you.
I am interested in applying for the job of kitchen help in your fine restaurant.
I have had some experience in the kitchen, for example my brief stint as a Chester Fried Chicken and Sub Shack aficionado. Also, I come from a long line of kitchen help. My Father helped in a kitchen, as did his father, and his father before him. His father did not help in a kitchen, but he did use dinner plates to practice skeet shooting. Moreover, as a boy I used to visit my great uncle Agustus who owned a scouring pad farm. He would teach me every day about the in’s and out’s of scouring, all the do’s and do not’s, how to treat your scouring pad just right. Yes, he went on and on about the scouring pad, not to mention the scrub brushes. Finally, my mother used to threaten me with a carrot peeler if I did not help out in the kitchen at home. She did not pay me however. I guess you would call that volunteer work.
Please feel free to contact me for an interview, or if you have any questions. My phone number is (CENSORED) , and my e-mail is (CENSORED) I look forward to chatting with you.
Yours truly,
Kennedy Allen
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