A Japanese Sex-Robot Love Poem - For Valentine's Day

I cannot say I was a man,
'Til you arrived here from Japan.
I knew one day, you would be mine,
Because I ordered you on-line.

The waiting was unbearable,
But then, to start this parable,
You finally came. My heart, it shook,
‘Twas worth the postman’s dirty look.

First you were cold, spurned my advance.
I began to think I had no chance.
You’d not respond despite my pleas,
‘Till I installed your batteries.

Your silicone and latex skin,
Your glass-eyed stare, and vacant grin,
Your internal heater warms my heart,
Your vibrator warms my other part.

I’d like to take you out some day,
On a romantic getaway.
We’d soak up the sun, swim in the sea,
But that would void your warranty.

Words can’t express the way I feel.
One can’t describe a love so real.
So what on earth am I to do
For my next consumer review?

There’s still so much about you, though,
That even now, I’ve yet to know.
It’s ‘cause, of course, you’re such a tease,
Your manual’s in Japanese.

But we’re in love. That much is clear.
And when I say this, I’m sincere:
I’ll love you ‘til the end of time,
Or until I see next year’s design.




!!!BONUS ALTERNATE ENDING!!!

They say, one day, machines will rise,
And be the tool of man’s demise.
If that day comes, I won’t get testy.
Armageddon’s never been so sexy.