The Poker Game

A group of friends enjoy a spirited game of poker, and we get to watch! Isn't life grand?

Travel Tips: Germany

Being forced to travel to Germany? Ja? Well, here are some handy German phrases that every tourist should know whilst traversing the great and noble land of the Deutsch. Good luck, and happy Germaning!


Hello. My name is _______.
Guten Tag. Mein name ist _______.

How are you?
Wie geht es Ihnen?

Your country smells like pee.
Deine Landgeruche wie Pipi.

Do you speak english?
DO... YOU... SPEAK... ENGLISH?

Which way to the library, Ass-Face?
Welche weise zur Bibliothek, Esel-Gesicht?

Oh Snap! No you di'ent!
Oh verschluss! Nein, tatest du ni-icht!

I love you...
Ich liebe dich...
...for 6 euros.
...für sechs Euro.

Thank you for not gassing me in the shower.
Danke schön für das Gasen ich nicht in der Dusche.

Rejected Retro: Cover Letter

Going through some old files, I found this cover letter that I actually wrote to a restaurant many moons ago. I never even got an interview. Go figure...

May 25, 2001

To Whom it May Concern, 

I am interested in applying for the job of kitchen help in your fine restaurant. 

I have had some experience in the kitchen, for example my brief stint as a Chester Fried Chicken and Sub Shack aficionado. Also, I come from a long line of kitchen help. My Father helped in a kitchen, as did his father, and his father before him. His father did not help in a kitchen, but he did use dinner plates to practice skeet shooting. Moreover, as a boy I used to visit my great uncle Agustus who owned a scouring pad farm. He would teach me every day about the in’s and out’s of scouring, all the do’s and do not’s, how to treat your scouring pad just right. Yes, he went on and on about the scouring pad, not to mention the scrub brushes. Finally, my mother used to threaten me with a carrot peeler if I did not help out in the kitchen at home. She did not pay me however. I guess you would call that volunteer work.

Please feel free to contact me for an interview, or if you have any questions. My phone number is (CENSORED) , and my e-mail is (CENSORED) I look forward to chatting with you.

Yours truly,  

Kennedy Allen

Will Net Neutrality Affect Our Pornography?

An expert commentary by Professor R. J. Pendleton

Everyone knows that unless net neutrality is enforced, there will be a tremendously harsh impact on small businesses, free market competition, internet prices, democracy, freedom of speech, and privacy. Yeah yeah, whatever. But will a lack of net neutrality affect the thing on the internet that people actually care about, pornography? The answer, of course, is "Duh", you idiot.

Net neutrality is the idea that all traffic on the interweb moves at the same rate. Internet service providers (ISP's) wish to change that, making the internet into a tiered system whereby web sites will have to pay the ISP's big bucks in order to have access to the net at full speed. To illustrate, imagine it's the 1950's, and you're sitting in a local burger joint, sharing a malt with your best girl. (Note: In order for this analogy to work for you, you will have to have at least one penis.) In comes the pompadour-sporting, leather jacket-clad greaser, named... oh, say Bell Rogerson. He grabs your straw with his fingers, and squeezes, telling you to pay up, or he won't let go. Meanwhile Bessy-Lou is sucking up all of the malt through her straw, which is terrible because bulimia hasn't been invented, and she's going to look chunky for the big dance. The ISP's wish to be that greaser, and it's tough to blame them, because he does seem pretty cool.

If The ISP's succeed, it will mean that they will be able to slow down access to any sites they wish, as well as peer to peer file sharing between internet users. This will be incredibly detrimental to the average pornography viewer as the majority of porn sites are humble Mom, Pop, and naughty co-ed operations, which would not have the money to pay for the higher speeds. Of course, there would still be big business porn sites that would have the ability to pay, but they would all cater to mainstream audiences. What about the dirtier, raunchier, abnormal porn of questionable legality that I like? That stuff would be much harder to find, and the download speeds would be so terrible that I probably wouldn't even finish downloading one 5 minute upskirt video before I had a class to teach.

And what about those of us that make our own movies to share? For example, if I were to upload a video of myself in latex, hanging upside down, being asphyxiated by oatmeal, without net neutrality it would be almost impossible for anyone to see it, and there goes half the thrill right there.

The answer is clear. There must be net neutrality legislation ASAP. Please call or write your government representatives, and make sure they do the things in the law making place. Lusty school girls everywhere are counting on you.

http://www.saveournet.ca/content/take-action

Are Rhetorical Questions in the Media Getting Out of Hand?

It seems more and more, these days, that the media is using rhetorical questions to grab the public's attention, but are they really effective? Do they actually keep the public captivated for longer than they would be normally? Can the technique be over used? Is there such a thing as too many rhetorical questions? Are there consequences for using an inordinate number of them? Can too many rhetorical questions annoy the audience to the point that the audience stops caring entirely? Does the media really need an audience that has such a short attention span? Can an audience be called an audience if the medium that they are enjoying happens to be in print? Can this be called enjoyment? Are all of these even rhetorical questions? Or are some of them just a form of mock dialog? Can research be done ahead of time by the author in order to keep him from embarrassing himself? Can the words "wasting everyone's time" be added to that last sentence? Why does the author even write things like that when they clearly hurt his feelings? Is that a tear in his eye? Is the little baby gonna cry? If he said it was just a speck of dirt under his eyelid, would anyone believe him? How about, if he said it was an allergy? Is he allergic to suckiness? If so, would that explain everything?

To answer these questions, we called upon Dr. Earnest Whorrell at the International Language Institute In Halifax, Nova Scotia.

"To start off with, yes. Rhetorical questions do tend to keep an audience more attentive." Whorrell claimed.

But can he really be trusted?

Outrageously Homophobic Jay III

At last, the long awaited finale of the critically acknowledged Homophobic Jay Trilogy has arrived!

You can view the first two chapters here:
#1 The Fruity Sketch
#2 Pete's Journal

Movie Trailer for Outrageously Homophobic Jay III

This is a sneak peek of what's sure to be this year's biggest summer blockbuster, in which I have a modest part. The actual movie will be out shortly.

Coo-coo for Haiku

For those of you that are new to the world of the Haiku, the Haiku is an ancient form of Japanese poetry. In order to appreciate its true greatness, each poem must be read slowly, with the focus placed on every single word. Examine how each word affects you, and pay attention to the images that the poems evoke. Listening to new age music may help enhance your experience. It might also help if you are incredibly, incoherently high.

Haiku sits on page
No rhythm, no flow, no rhyme
Not a real poem

'Late Night'

Jimmy Fallon to host
The Earth weeps

Stripper calls bouncer
Man shrugs, G-string full of cash...
Canadian Tire

Cautious soul
Softly pulls my finger
Funny joke

Comet falls from sky
A true wonder to behold
...Smashed my fucking car

Five syllables here
And this one must have seven
Pain in the ass... es

What? Six syllables now?
Behold, the free form Haiku!
*cough* Lazy writing.

Years of tradition
wiped away in an instant
by one dumb ass blog

Identity Theft is a Huge Problem: a Commentary by Don Cheadle

Hi! I'm Hollywood's Don Cheadle. I am a very famous person. I'm a film producer, author, philanthropist, and man about town, but you probably know me from my numerous acting roles in such films as Ocean's Eleven, Crash, and Hotel Rwanda. But I'm not here to talk about me, I'm here to talk about a big problem facing the world today, identity theft.

Identity theft is affecting more and more Americans every day. In fact, statistics show that every 4.3 seconds, 12 senile old ladies give their credit card numbers over the phone to someone impersonating a dead relative. Don't take my word for it. Get a phone book, and try it out yourself! It's easy. But did you know that there is another kind of identity theft? One that isn't harmless? Well there is, and it affects the most productive members of our society, wealthy actor/author/film producers.

Think about it. I am so outrageously famous, and have such philanthropic clout, that anyone could take my name, and affix it to anything they wanted to, be it a product endorsement, wacky telephone answering machine message, or cheesy web log commentary. This gives the message, or product, the pungent allure of my natural man-musk, while at the same time, robbing me, Don Cheadle, of my hard earned credibility. For example, someone could make a cardboard cutout of me holding a bottle of Bathtime Soapy Suds, and giving a thumbs up. But I don't even like Bathtime Soapy Suds! They make my ears tickley.

Another thing an identity thief could do, is to make a Don Cheadle-brand fire alarm, where instead of a siren, it says words and phrases spliced together from my many Oscar nominated films. It could say things like "Fire! Evacuate the building!", and "There will be no rescue, no intervention for us. We can only save ourselves. Many of you know influential people abroad, you must call these people. You must tell them what will happen to us... say goodbye. But when you say goodbye, say it as if you are reaching through the phone and holding their hand. Let them know that if they let go of that hand, you will die. We must shame them into sending help." This is bad, because it is not proper fire safety etiquette. Also, my publicist tells me that I shouldn't associate myself with things that asphyxiate people.

As you can see, identity theft is a big problem for all of us. But there is still hope. We can work together to stop outrageously famous people's identity theft. If you see a celebrity endorsement, or an article written by a celebrity that you're pretty sure isn't real, tell a parent, or guardian, and get him or her to contact the authorities.

This has been Don Cheadle, Keepin' it Readle.
Does that sign off work? No? I was just trying it out.

A Polygamist Cult Love Poem

I think that I shall never see
A telephone, or DVD,
But that’s just fine, love’s all I need,
Plus a wife, or two, like God decreed.

That’s where you come in, my sweet, so fair,
With your layers of full body underwear,
Nothing makes my thoughts uncleaner
Than your downward gaze, and meek demeanor.

The braids so tight around your head,
Get me so hot, they make me red.
But that hue’s forbidden, it’s for the Creator,
I’ll have to beat you for that, later.

When first we met, I knew we’d wed,
And that I’d have you in my bed.
I knew my love, you’d not renounce,
‘Cause you were just 8 lbs, 1 oz.

You’d proclaim our love to the world around,
Or at least to those in the compound,
But of course, you can’t. That’s just absurd,
We only taught you basic words.

Nothing could ruin our wedding day,
‘Cept the government swat team that took you away.
But you need your husband! It’s obscene!
Don’t they know you’re just thirteen?

So now you’re gone, but please don’t cry.
I love you dear, and F.Y.I.,
Since she’s still here, somehow they missed her,
I’m now married to your younger sister.

Top Ten List of Extremely Controversial Things

The following list contains products and ideas that are extremely controversial in nature. Rejected Musings understands that there are two sides to every issue, and that both sides often have equally valid points. Rejected Musings, and it's staff wish to remain neutral on these hot-button issues, and neither endorse, nor condemn the use, or practice, of any of the items listed below.

1. Necro-Puppetry
2. Ethnic slur cookies
3. Octogenarian wardrobe malfunctions
4. Bloodmobile bag fights
5. Fur-lined abortion tools
6. Dr. assisted panda suicide
7. Guns for Fetuses exchange programs
8. Ron Howard
9. Black rhino flavored steroid needles
10. Abstinence only education for disabled war veterans (taught via Necro-Puppetry)

Bush: "Gotcha!" Joke Presidency an Actual Joke

In the largest press conference in presidential history, today George W. Bush addressed a crowd of thousands for what he called an emergency "Talkie-Thing". Uncharacteristically for the Bush administration, every member of the press from the largest cable news station reporters, to the smallest left-wing college newspaper editors were invited to hear the President speak.

"I know many of you have been wondering for quite some time," Bush began. "how it is that I am still your president."

There were some murmurs in the crowd, and one "We love you!" from a Fox News correspondent.

"I admit, I haven't been what most would consider to be a 'good', 'effective', or even 'remotely competent' president. Some of you, I'm sure, think that I should be impeached, while others are completely baffled as to how I got here in the first place." Bush laughed softly as he looked out at the crowd, his head bobbing slightly. "Well to that, all I have to say, is April Fools!"

Amid an array of gasps, grumbles, and sobs, the President continued his prepared speech, then gave up, after failing to pronounce the surprisingly real word, "comicality". According to the speech, Bush's entire time in office has been one giant, 8-year-long practical joke designed to culminate on this, the last April Fools day of his presidency.

The President carried on, ad-lib. "I mean, I didn't even win in the first place! Everyone knows that! This guy did!" He gestured to his left, as a laughing Al Gore took the stage.

Putting his arm over Bush's shoulder, Gore stated, "I just wanted to see the look on all of your faces! Totally worth it!" A quick high-five between the two followed, as well as a pretend punch to the stomach thrown by the Nobel Prize winner. "Thank God for the Supreme Court, and those paperless voting machines." Gore chuckled, "You people almost blew the joke!"

Gore explained that the Supreme Court Justices were all in on the gag, as was the house, senate, John Kerry, John McCain, and Iraqi Prime Minister al-Maliki.

"Not Saddam, though." added Bush. "That guy's got no sense of humor."

When asked about the Iraq war, the looming recession, the corporate scandals, corruption, and the disastrous Katrina relief, Bush responded, "Well of course I had to be bad at my job, otherwise the prank wouldn't have been very funny, now would it?" He then added, "Oh, and don't forget 9/11! My thanks to Prince Bandar and his boys, for helping to make that happen."

Now that the April Fools Day shenanigans are all out of the way, Bush stated that he plans to retire early from his job as commander in chief, leaving the position empty until 2009. For as he put it, "It's not like I was going to do anything in the next nine months anyway, except bomb Iran, but I'll let the next president pull that prank."

A Blog Staple: Cats With Hats

Here is my cat, Mana, dressed up in different hats!
She's so CUUUUUUTE!! ♥

Toque

Jester Hat

Party Hat

Baby Bonnet

Top Hat

Chef's Hat

and Sombrero!

Filomina Noir and the Case of the Posted Diary

March 17, 2008

Dear Diary,

I awoke in my bed with a Kool-Aid hangover you wouldn’t believe.

The glow-in-the-dark hearts on the ceiling were spinning about the pink room, and my head was swimming with the events of the previous night. I tried to make sense of them, but they were as fuzzy as the plush bear-princess wedged by my bedpost.

I sat up and brushed the powdered sugar from my face. The room was quiet, too quiet. With the amount of light shining through my Barbie-print curtains, I could scarcely see a trail of glitter leading underneath my rose colored sheets. Rummaging through the empty juice boxes, and Pixy Stix wrappers, I tossed the covers aside. There lay Bubble Cup, My Little Pony, at least the top half of her. Some one was trying to send me a message.

I got rid of the pony head, and cleaned up the glitter. I didn’t waste any time mourning. Bubble Cup had been a good friend of mine for many years, and I would never have wished any harm on her, but what can I say? She had it coming. Besides, I had bigger pom-poms to fluff. I had to figure out who was behind this before they struck again.

“Girl Guides!” I thought. The Girl Guides had been especially ornery lately, ever since the Brownie gang had taken hold of the West Mount territory. I had recently crossed the Guides after accidentally stumbling on to their cream-filled cookie racket. It had been a lean year for me and cookies don’t grow on trees, so what was a girl to do? I spied an opening, took a handful of goods and headed for the door. Now the guides were out for revenge.

But this wasn’t the work of the Guides. It’s not their style. Guides are many things, but ambiguous isn’t one of them. They don’t leave you guessing. No, this was someone else’s doing. But who’s was as big a mystery as Dora the Explorer’s sexual orientation.

My thoughts were hijacked by the rumbling of a bus engine. The mystery was going to have to wait. I downed some Fruit Loops, and headed out.

Ms. Phillips' elementary classroom was unusually gray and disorderly. My desk was in it’s usual place, nestled in the back between the hamster cage and Suzie Whitmore. I went straight to my chair, and settled in.

“Hi!” Suzie addressed me, her pig-tails jiggling.

I ignored her and turned towards the cage to my left. The hamster wasn’t much of a conversationalist, but it beat the sparkles out of talking with Suzie Whitmore. Suzie had been diagnosed with a kootie growth on her psyche as a young child, and her Doctors were forced to surgically remove her personality. That’s the only explanation for her that I could come up with.

Just then, the door swung open, and in stepped a curvy blond. She was a tall drink of water; her gams were three feet if they were an inch. Writing her name on the board, she introduced herself as “The Substitute”. She seemed harmless enough, but there was something about this dame I didn’t trust. Not wasting any time, she cut straight to the chase.

“I need your help.” She said to me. “I need you to tell me the answer to four plus three.”

“Sorry, Doll.” I muttered. “ But I know your type. Broads like you ain’t nothin’ but trouble.”

Unfazed, the hussy kept at it. She used every trick in the book to try and get her way, but I wouldn’t budge. I was one tough Dunkaroo. Finally she changed her tone, and caught me by surprise. I was blindsided by a detention and a trip to the office. The next thing I knew I was in front of the big man himself, Principal Peterson.

The office was hot, like an easy-bake oven, and the timer was just about to ding. Peterson interrogated me for hours, but I kept my cupcake hole shut. Eventually he let me off with a warning, and I was tossed onto the playground so hard that I almost lost a scrunchie.

The rest of the day was no picnic either, but by the time I got home, I managed to get a lead on Bubble Cup’s assassin. Popping a juice box, I read a note one of my sources had left in my lunch bag. He’d spied a blue pony hoof in the locker of a Jr. High kid. It was Donnie, my jackass brother. I should have known.

Finally it’s all starting to making sense. But bed time is coming, and it’s too late for me to do anything about it now. I will have to deal with Donnie, and his G.I. Joes tomorrow. Until then, all I can do is wait for morning, and hope that Polly Pocket and her friends will be safe.

What can I tell ya, Diary? Life ain't fair, especially around here. This is a tough town for a six year old.

Benedict XVI's not here, man! The Vatican Goes All Hippie-Like

There must have been something funny in the Eucharist last Sabbath. Archbishop Gianfranco Girotti, "Oddjob" to Pope Benedict's "Goldfinger", has come out with a new list of modern sins that most would agree sounds pretty "groovy". The list includes a few of the old "greatest hits" such as: Thou shalt not sheath thine serpent in latex, and Thou shalt keepeth thine stem cells to thine self. But among the obligatory conservative dogma, a few progressive notes happened to slip in. Girotti rallied against big business, excessive wealth, polluters, and any who help widen the gap between the rich and the poor. Yes, he really stuck it to "The Man".

Girotti went on to say that, "You offend God...[by] carrying out morally debatable experiments that manipulate DNA..."

Hearing things like this is enough to make a left wing liberal spill his bong water in shock. It's amazing that it has taken so long for hippies and the Vatican to find some common ground, particularly since Jesus was the first hippie (not counting Adam and Steve). As nice as these events are, however, they do bring to light an issue I've had with the extreme left for quite some time.

First let me say this: I like hippies. They are open minded, friendly, and generous. I agree with most of what they stand for, enjoy their loose, hairy women, and believe they have done nothing but improve North America ever since they immigrated here from their native Amsterdam.

What is this problem I have with the hippies? Is it their 3:00 AM drum circles? Chronic, indiscriminate drug use? Ineffective deodorant? Dreadlocks? No, all those things are adorable. I am referring, of course, to the issue of genetic engineering.

Hippies and the cartoonishly religious shun anything to do with genetic modification (as it is defined today), and hippies are particularly wary of any genetic alteration in our food chain. I grant you that genetic experimentation should not be entered into lightly, and there is a great danger in allowing corporations too much control over the process. No one wants to see a 400 ton Ronald McDonald rampaging down the block. The man sized version is creepy enough. DNA manipulation is a powerful tool, and thus, could potentially be turned into a dangerous weapon, just like nuclear energy, or the paper clips I shoot at pedestrians, but I think the potential benefits far outweigh the possible problems, just like Ashley Olson far outweighs Mary-Kate.

Lets take a step back, for a moment, and discuss what genetic alteration actually is. Don't look now, but your DNA has already been manipulated. So has the DNA of your family, friends, the tree in your yard, the ladybug on its branch, and the rat in your lab that you do genetic experiments on. Your ancestors have been selectively bred for generations, changing the way you think, look and act, simply by virtue of the fact that they survived just long enough to pop out a kid. It's a completely natural process of evolution that has gone on ever since life began, at least 40 or so years ago.

"That's all well, and good!" you say. "But that's nature! (or Vishnu) Man shouldn't try to change it, himself!"

Well first, I'll kindly ask you to use gender non-specifics, you sexist bastard. Secondly, humans have been screwing with gene pools since before the invention of the outhouse. One example of this is the common dog, or Canis poopus couchstainius. We humans took domesticated wolves, and changed their DNA by breeding them based on the traits we wanted to see, until they eventually became every different kind of dog that exists today. Thats why they call those types a "breed", and that's also why deep in the heart of every toy poodle is a vicious killer lusting for your blood. The results are the same, the DNA is changed, and godless monsters are created. It's just the processes that are different.

If Pope Jr. is right, and this is the line between good and evil, then dog show participants are more hell bound than I thought, and that mullet-haired guy who drowns kittens in the park is doing God's work. I owe Donald an apology.

It's going to take a while, but once we've mastered playing genetic Plinko, it will spell the end of most of the worlds problems. Disease, famine, amputations, Victoria Beckham, even the energy crisis will all be things of the past. What's more is, despite whatever anyone might say or do, it's a-gonna happen. The genetic age is coming, and no amount of Bible quotes, or magic brownies will stop it. So don't waste your booze fueled passion (this applies to both groups) on halting genetic research. Use it, instead, to steer it in a safely democratic, anti-corporate direction, so as to keep it out of the hands of the Debbies of the world. (Sorry, Debbie's a woman that works at my office. She can be a real bitch.)

Witch Faith is Which? Muslims & Christians: Coven Together at Long Cast

Friendship a brewin'? After centuries of religious disagreements between Muslims and Christians, finally the two faiths have found some common ground. The first step toward unity was taken by the Sunni Muslims of Saudi Arabia, who have recently made it a practice to honor Christian tradition by systematically tracking down, and prosecuting witches.

Before you adjust your computer clock, let me reassure you. This is not the 17th century. We are still in 2008, and Britney Spears is still in rehab.

The most publicized witch hunt of late, involves a middle aged, illiterate, Saudi woman named Fawza Falih, who now faces execution. [story here] In 2005, Ms Falih was detained by the Saudi Religious Police for (among other things) making a man impotent, something that, as I tell my wife, never occurs without witchcraft being involved. Keeping with the time honored practices of the Christian Church, the Saudis made defending herself next to impossible, forcing Ms Falih to finger print a confession that she could not read, and was not even read to her. Being that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, Christians the world over are taking this development as a sign that reconciliation between the two faiths may be on the horizon.

"You know, we really do have a lot in common." said Father O'Priestenson, a made up religious figure and imaginary spokesperson of the Christian faith. "I mean, both religions worship one God, we're all pretty uptight about sex, not big fans of the Jews, and we hate women. The Muslims just have the balls to take it to the next level! We used to do that." he added somberly. "But we've lost our way. We've lost our way."

Religious leaders on both sides, hope to capitalize on the current trend, and are encouraging affability. The Vatican recently stated its intentions to take the Muslims lead, and return to its more "Inquisitionary" roots. As a gesture of good will, Pope Benedict XVI plans to send Harry Potter star, Daniel Radcliff, to the Saudi Senior Council of Clerics as a gift, for them to deal with as they see fit.

The evil sorceress community, however, is less than thrilled with this development, many of them even choosing to live in hiding.

"This is a costume!" said one magical hag, when reached for comment. "We're doing Hansel and Gretel for my school play. Witches aren't real! I know that, and I'm six!" Sources report, she has become less snotty since being shipped off to Al-Hasa.

It is not known how long this run of religious amiability will last. The future is difficult to predict, particularly since, in some places, it is punishable by death. However it doesn't take an image in a bubbling cauldron for this reporter to see, that this bond will last for a very long time, providing no one brings up the topic of alcohol, television, or Jesus.

Breaking News: Bush to Commission Cloned Army

With frequent troop rotations in Iraq and Afghanistan, a recruitment slump, and the potential for an Iran war still looming on the horizon, concerns that the U.S. army may be overextended are growing.

"It's stretched to the breaking point." said Andrew Krepinevich, a retired army officer who authored a Pentagon report known as The Thin Green Line. "Any additional stress and it could completely fracture." Though he was referring to a lone paper clip that was holding together the 136-page report, he could just as easily have been speaking about the military.

Wasting no time, President Bush stated in a press conference, today, that he plans to commission a new army of super clones to aid the struggling U.S. military. These clones will, and have already been, grown and maintained by private companies similar to Blackwater and other mercenary outfits that the U.S. currently has on its payroll.

Bush touted the benefits of his new army. "Clones can think creatively, making them immensely superior to droids." he began. "They are 100% obedient, taking any order without question. They have been modified to make them less independent than the original host, Carl Rove."

The announcement has caused ripples of controversy throughout Washington. The fact that the clones are already grown, and able to be stationed, raises some questions. One being, "WTF?" another being, "Why?" Even with growth acceleration, the current batch of clones would had to have been initiated over a decade ago, meaning that the project must have been going on secretly for years. As chairman of the Democratic National Committee, Howard Dean, was quoted as saying, "Blind we are, if creation of this clone army we could not see."

On top of this, there are fears that any army made up of hired mercenaries, cloned or not, is lacking in oversight, not beholden to the people, and could easily be used against the United States citizenry in a military coup/empire creation. However, President Bush successfully squelched those fears by promising that, although the tactic has been attempted in numerous societies, and blockbuster movies throughout history, he will never ever try it in the U.S., he pinky swears.

Connect the Dots!

Finished?

Surprise! It's the prophet, Mohammad!
Now RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!